Weekend at Fidel's

Castro's tip: Clinton-Obama the winning ticket

Says the Ouija board.

You KNOW this guy is dead. If you're going to make his mouth move, make it say something useful, okay? Like his memoirs.

That said, the English translation of the essay reveals no such endorsement. This is his statement on the subject:

Today, talk is about the seemingly invincible ticket that might be created with Hillary for President and Obama for Vice President. Both of them feel the sacred duty of demanding “a democratic government in Cuba”. They are not making politics: they are playing a game of cards on a Sunday afternoon.

The media declares that this would be essential, unless Gore decides to run.

Could someone read the original and tell me if this is what he said? I think it is, but my college Spanish is rusty.

Hoy se habla de que un ticket al parecer invencible podría crearse con el binomio Hillary presidente y Obama vice. Ambos se sienten en el deber sagrado de exigir "un gobierno democrático en Cuba". No están haciendo política; están jugando a las barajas un domingo por la tarde.

Se afirma por los grandes medios que esto sería imprescindible, excepto si Gore se postula.

Sounds like he says they're dilettantes, not political powers. I guess that might be good for Cuba though. If it's true. It is by no stretch of the imagination an endorsement, however. Nice try, neocons.

Oh, NICE headline.

Bush warns of 'holocaust' if Iran gets nukes

Okay, he really meant that Iran would begin a holocaust. But the phrasing of this headline (and that of that pissant Drudge) suggests that Bush is promising to start a holocaust. At least that's what my optic nerve told my brain.

I suppose most of the world will interpret it the way Bush meant it. At least I assume that's what he meant. Maybe I shouldn't assume that. After all this time with people comparing him to Hitler, perhaps he's beginning to believe it himself.

Be careful how you throw that meme around, asshole.

Collective singular noun!

14 U.S. Troops Die in Iraq Copter Crash

No, fourteen US troops did NOT die in a helicopter crash. Fourteen INDIVIDUALS died in a helicopter crash. "Troop" is a fucking COLLECTIVE. SINGULAR. NOUN. One person is not a "troop"! No! NO! Fourteen "military members", "soldiers", "Marines", "sailors", or "airmen". NOT TROOPS! STOP IT! STOPPITNOW!

The proper response to "fourteen troops died in a helicopter crash" is: "How many were in each troop?" Well, actually, a more fitting response might be "Why the fuck were they still over there to get into the helicopter to die?" but let's not digress.

I have no idea why this matters so much to me. Perhaps it's because "troops" is such a cutesy word. Boy Scouts are in "troops". Someone is a good sport, and lets you pile work upon them, they're a "real trooper". Too bad "trooper" means a state patrolman already. Well, there was "Starship Troopers", but even with the movie (or because of it), "troopers" never caught on.

Or perhaps it's because "troops" has become a trigger word for certain ersatz emotions TheyTM would like to elicit in us. If you're going to (try to) manipulate my mind, I insist you do so using correct grammar. Whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, you knock me right back into jarring reality when you say that. Knock off your lazy yellow-journalistic shorthand and write properly.

School days, school days...

Yes, the nation's children are returning to school, and with school comes....gun panic!

Student suspended for sketching gun

He drew a picture of a gun on an assignment before he turned it in. Verdict: "implied threat".

Usually these stories proliferate after a school shooting; the last crop was after Virginia Tech a few months ago. This is a bit off-season, isn't it?

I drew guns. And I'm a girl.

Visit this FARK thread to find out just how many bloodthirsty children there were, and are, in our schools. Most of us don't have Seung-Hui Cho's initiative mental illness, and penalizing everyone for drawings will not screen out the Klebolds. They'll just get more circumspect.

For some thought, we'll revisit "School House Sing-a-long".

Ground Zero articles of interest:

So there.

Then Suddenly, Nothing Happened

Exactly my point about the stock market. Runs on the bank are caused by people wondering if there will be a run on the bank. Now get out there and spend like the good little consumers you are, and don't forget your Malthusian drill.

Attention Webster's

(Non-word-geeks may skip this entry.)

"Jihadization". Did you know that was a word?

Until I find an instance of it that predates January 2007, we can blame Canada for it. (Don't blame Stephen Colbert. I altered the picture. Sounds like him, though, doesn't it?)

But this was the first time I had seen it:

Internet is "the new Afghanistan": NY police commissioner

The Internet is the new battleground against Islamist extremism because it provides ideology that could radicalize Westerners who might then initiate home-grown attacks, New York police commissioner Raymond Kelly said on Wednesday.
[...]
The report identified the four stages to radicalization as pre-radicalization, self-identification, indoctrination, and jihadization, and said the Internet drove and enabled the process.

(Pre-radicalization? Wasn't that that movement of weird-ass Victorian artists who used to meet in their parents' basement? No, wait, that was somebody else.)

I love a well-coined word as much as anyone. Unfortunately, "jihadization" doesn't make the cut.

For that matter, "Islamist" and "extremism" aren't among my favorites, either.

The process of inventing words is called neologism. According to Wikipedia, it is a symptom of schizophrenia or brain damage. Wikipedia, of course, is crammed full of truthiness.

Really, though, the recruitment of terrorist wannabes can be accomplished far more handily on any college campus. On the Internet, you have to build your bombs with one hand.

Hey, fringe -- lay off the panic button

This article has spread across the fringe-o-sphere like the "brushfire" of its metaphoric headline:

Stock Market Brushfire; Will there be a run on the banks?

NO, dammit. Not right now. It's too early.

Not unless you keep cranking that siren. Are you TRYING to cause a run on the banks, with your panic scenarios?

Yes. You are.

You'd love it if the stock market crashed and all your dire predictions came true. You and your guns and your gold could crouch in the tall grass around your fortified homes and shiver with grim satisfaction.

But that's just me, I guess.

Look, sometimes I dwell in that world, too. Anyone who reads this blog -- all two of you -- know that. Some of the philosophy makes a lot of sense. Your scenario is one of the ones that may come true. But the world may go in a different direction than the one you predict. Have you taken steps to adapt to more than one? Or does it just have to be yours?

Do you want it so bad you've got to make it true? Is "I told you so" that important? You people try so hard to make Ed and Elaine Brown, two incredibly insignificant people on whom, till now, I've been striving not to waste words, into a libertarian cause celebre, and your new Waco keeps NOT HAPPENING, doesn't it? I'm expecting one of you to start plinking at the police cars after a while just to relieve your tension by starting the festivities.

Yeah, I know, the mainstream media participated in the panic campaign too. Seems to me that's the exact reason why you SHOULDN'T have.

I'm tired of hearing about how Ron Paul is the only one who can save America. He can't save America because he is NOT going to be president. You are wasting your time and money. Whether he should be president, or would make a good president, is beside the point. It's not going to happen. Yeah, yeah, people like me are part of the problem, aren't we? Naysayers. All my fault. Mm-hmm.

I used to be impressed by Ron Paul. That ended the day he announced his candidacy for president. Anyone who craves that job is not someone who should have that job.

Presidents, up till the current one, didn't have as much power as people thought. Now Bush has changed that with his abuse of executive privilege and his anointing of himself as dictator in the event of a national emergency. And that's the position the next president will inherit. Are they going to reverse these decisions, take power away from themselves? Hell, no. People who crave power are incapable of giving it up once they have it.

In 2008, I am voting for None Of The Above.

Last Monday at Ground Zero Lounge (see video below), someone demanded of Clyde Lewis that he declare his support for a candidate. He wouldn't accept hearing what Clyde wanted in a candidate; he wanted a NAME. And when he didn't get it, he accused Clyde of evading the question. How can you answer a question that has no answer, except with a lie?

I don't know about Clyde, but no one is making me vote for someone on the list just because the list is there. I don't want to hear any more crap about how everyone who voted for Nader or for anyone else but Gore or Kerry, actually voted for Bush. It's people like that who perpetuate the two-party system. The system that even Ron Paul is now feeding into. Perhaps -- in an alternate but similar universe in which I still supported presidential candidates -- I might have supported Ron Paul as an independent. But when he declared a Republican candidacy, he killed any faith I might have had in him.

Write someone in, you say. You have to vote for SOMEONE. No, I don't have to vote for anyone. I don't have to vote at all. Clyde and his friend on the video can say cute-ass things like "I'm writing in Satan", but I don't play that game. I don't have to buy into the farce that voting has become. I vote on issues. I vote on representatives, even though I no longer believe they represent me. In fact, I'm thinking of forgoing voting for any PERSON at all, for any office.

Yeah, I'm part of the problem, right? No, I'm part of YOUR problem. I'm someone who thinks for myself, instead of throwing in with a bunch of people who claim to think for themselves and then vote for a man who has sold out like the rest of them, and gloat about it among their clique. Wasn't that what Libertarians were supposed to be against?

This started out being about the stock market, didn't it? How I do digress.

Ground Zero articles of interest:



If this video doesn't work for you, try this link, or go to video.google.com and search 8-13-07 clyde lewis.

Crafty to the end

Karl Rove to Resign At the End of August

So The Brain is leaving to Spend More Time With His Family. Why?

The best simple answer:

He said he decided to leave after White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten told senior aides that if they stayed past Labor Day they would be obliged to remain through the end of the president's term in January 2009.

Sure. Get out while you still can. A rational move.

Or perhaps he's leaving because the next president is slated to be one of the Democratic candidates, and to make sure that the Republicans remember they're supposed to be losing this time around, he has to take himself out of the advice loop in case he accidentally tells one of them something that may help them.

Then, the more interesting theories: he's deserting the sinking ship to escape something big going down; he's doing it to facilitate something going down; he's doing it to stop something going down.

I am suspicious, all the more so because I know this is SUPPOSED to be making me suspicious and I don't want to be manipulated into suspecting what I'm SUPPOSED to suspect instead of what is really suspect. Still with me?

Are you a replicant...er, a terrorist?

Security firms working on devices to spot would-be terrorists in crowd

Under Project Hostile Intent, scientists will aim to build devices that can pick up tell-tale signs of hostile intent or deception from people's heart rates, perspiration and tiny shifts in facial expressions.

This is uber-cool.

It's also horrifying, but you have to remember I'm a geek, I grew up reading science fiction, and I already know how most of these things turn out no matter which Schrodinger's branch we take: cat alive, or cat dead. Those of us who've read these books live in an ongoing world of simultaneous boredom (yeah, we knew they'd be able to do that), excitement (they can do that already?), and fear (oh, shit, they can do that ALREADY?).

So, yes, I've read books about, and seen (in movies like Minority Report, the film this article references), the different paths of consequence that will stem from the use of this technology. But Minority Report was more about ESP. The film this technology brings most easily to my mind is Bladerunner. A test to tell whether you're a replicant. How about if you're a terrorist? A test to tell whether you harbor seditious thoughts. Whether you disagree with your government, your employer, the law, or the church you've been assigned to. You know...to decide whether you're fit to live.

Dramatic...but then it should be; we're talking about movies. We are...right?

What I am certain they won't be able to do for a long time is to do it accurately, which could mean either that we won't have to worry about it for some time (the less likely scenario), or that they will rush it out there and start merrily misusing it (the more likely scenario).

For my part, I smile and wave hi at security cameras. I'm waiting for the study to come out that explains that terrorists do this, so they can take me down.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

Close the window, honey...

...I think I feel a draft.

Bush War Adviser Says Draft Worth a Look

President Nixon abolished the draft in 1973. Restoring it, Lute said, would be a "major policy shift" and Bush has made it clear that he doesn't think it's necessary.

Of course he says he doesn't think it's necessary. That's because it's not necessary for HIM to do it. He doesn't want to end the war.

The presidential candidates won't admit to considering it; they're not exactly commiting to not doing it either, but the hyperbole is framed so as to suggest they won't.

Face it, though:

The draft would probably end the war.

NOT, mind you, because it ended Vietnam. It didn't. Going into what did end Vietnam would take a book I'm not qualified to write, but it wasn't the draft. As much as the protests did change our culture, there weren't enough people against the draft in those days to make a difference.

There are now.

So Army Lt. General Lute thinks we should consider it. Dude's got teh bawls, you have to admit. Of course, there is this to consider:

Bush picked Lute in mid-May as a deputy national security adviser with responsibility for ensuring efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan are coordinated with policymakers in Washington. Lute, an active-duty general, was chosen after several retired generals turned down the job.

So what we've got here is the guy who took the shit job nobody else would touch. There's something to be said for that kind of job security; it's the kind of position from which you can toss out gems like "Let's consider the draft."

The best thing about this is the timing, since the Philadelphia Daily News columnist, Stu Bykofsky, just dropped that delicious bomb into the yakosphere about needing another 9/11...what's a little draft talk going to hurt, compared with THAT? Mmmmm. More on Bykofsky in a future post.

One thing's for sure: the all-volunteer military, if no changes are made, is soon going to be the all-dead, -crazy, and/or -maimed military. And the Department of Veterans Affairs isn't looking too healthy these days, either.

The draft is not the only route left, though. Personally, I thought the Starship Troopers solution had legs. Remember that?

A little-noticed provision in the proposed immigration bill would grant instant legal status and ultimately full citizenship to illegal immigrants if they enlist in the US military, an idea the Pentagon and military analysts say would boost the Pentagon's flagging efforts to find and recruit qualified soldiers.

In other words, if we send you there, and you make it back alive, you get to be a citizen. If you don't...well, good riddance, right?

Darwin, Godwin, and...Ann Coulter?

Godwin's Law (applied variation):
"The first poster to bring up Hitler or the Nazis loses the thread."

New TV Special Connects Darwin to Hitler

Ann Coulter is stunned. How is it, she asks, that she could go through 12 years of public school, then college and law school, and still not know that it was Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution that fueled Hitler’s ovens.

Um...judicious, vertically heirarchical application of oral-genital contact in lieu of paying attention or studying? Just a guess. Since you ask.

“I never knew about the link between Darwin and Hitler until after reading Richard Weikart’s book,” said Coulter, a popular conservative columnist and a featured expert on the new Coral Ridge Hour documentary, Darwin’s Deadly Legacy, which airs August 26 and 27.

An expert on...what, exactly? Apparently not the subject in question, since she just admitted she didn't learn anything about it in school...

“To put it simply, no Darwin, no Hitler,” said Dr. Kennedy, the host of Darwin’s Deadly Legacy.

Well, yes, of course. And no big black rectangle, no violence and war. That covers the intelligent design theory pretty well. Now we have parity.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

dude, Top Gun

Remember that bit in Top Gun where they fly upside down over the MiG and take a picture?

Russia sparks Cold War scramble

Now what do I keep telling you about provocative headlines?

They "exchanged smiles" with US pilots who scrambled to track them, he added.

Hey, America, look up there! *points over America's shoulder*

Deal with it.

A hint of more positive news for the Bush admininstration

We’re seeing some slight hints of positive news for the Bush administration. For one thing, Bush’s job approval rating has stopped its downward trajectory. Bush hit bottom with his administration low point of 29% in early July (based on our USA Today/Gallup poll readings). Now – in the data just about to be released from our weekend poll – Bush's approval rating has recovered slightly to 34%. That’s not a big jump, but it is the second consecutive poll in which the president’s numbers have been higher rather than lower.

Mmmright. Just like the gas prices halted their climb and "plunged" about ten cents, right?

Why is it that the Bush administration cares at all about what their approval rating is? The Republicans are staying in power until January 2009, and then, unless Bush stays on the throne due to a National Emergency, they're gone.

The next president (should there be a next president) will be a Democrat.

Deal with it.

Summer terrorists

Al Qaeda Cell May Be Loose in U.S., British Plot Hints

More recently, the commander for Northern Command, the American military operational region that includes North America, Air Force General Victor Renuart told the Associated Press in an interview on July 25, "I believe there are cells in the United States, or at least people who aspire to create cells in the United States." He added, "To assume that there are not those cells is naive and so we have to take that threat seriously."

Duh. Of course there are al-Qaeda cells in the United States. What were you expecting them to do, terrorize us by conference call?

That's why we're fighting them over THERE, so we won't have to fight them HERE, right? Because if we fought them over HERE, we'd catch some, seeing as this is where they are, thus proving that fighting them THERE isn't stopping us having to fight them HERE, and then we wouldn't get to stay over THERE.

They're summer terrorists. Summer over here, and summer over there.

Anti-war? Um, kinda...NOT

Obamafluff just suggested that we not end the war, just re-situate it:

Obama might send troops into Pakistan

"He confuses our mission," Obama said, then he spread responsibility to lawmakers like Clinton who voted for the invasion. "By refusing to end the war in Iraq, President Bush is giving the terrorists what they really want, and what the Congress voted to give them in 2002: a U.S. occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences."

THAT'S where the terrorists are! Darn it, we were shooting up the wrong mall. The terrorists are all in Pakistan. With the WMDs. And Ambrose Bierce.

You're not anti-war, you're just anti-Bush. You still want to fight a war on...I'm never sure which it is: "terror", an emotion, or "terrorism", a tactic. Certainly not a country, right? Because that would really be a war, With, like, rules. Wouldn't want that.

Does anyone remember when Kerry wanted to change the venue to Saudi Arabia?

Does anyone...remember Kerry?