Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fifties nostalgia

Who knew it wasn't all Brylcreem and poodle skirts?

FBI targets universities in new scheme to recruit informers

The kind of profiling the FBI has in mind was suggested by Bamford: “It could be [tracing] a telephone number from a cave in Afghanistan that could be completely innocent or it could be something else. The problem is, we don’t have the luxury of saying, ‘It’s probably nothing.’ ”

Tracing a what, from where?


“The FBI is asking university faculty, staff, and students to create a form of neighborhood watch against anything that is so called ‘suspicious.’ What kinds of things are they going to report on? Who has the right to be snitching? One of the scary things is who [on the campuses] will take it upon themselves to root out spies?”

Well, YOU, of course. Find out whom the FBI has recruited and plant seeds to get them informing on each other. It's fun, free, and excellent business training. Have at it, students.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

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Saturday, June 23, 2007

More on (spelt "moron") regulating talk radio

Friday, June 22, 2007

Kaufman on Clinton (fortunately, not literally)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Diversity, my ass

REPORT: The Right Wing Domination Of Talk Radio And How To End It

whiiiinnne......

Two common myths are frequently offered to explain the imbalance of talk radio: 1) the 1987 repeal of the Fairness Doctrine (which required broadcasters to devote airtime to contrasting views), and 2) simple consumer demand. Each of these fails to adequately explain the root cause of the problem.

Our conclusion is that the gap between conservative and progressive talk radio is the result of multiple structural problems in the U.S. regulatory system, particularly the complete breakdown of the public trustee concept of broadcast, the elimination of clear public interest requirements for broadcasting, and the relaxation of ownership rules including the requirement of local participation in management. […]

Ultimately, these results suggest that increasing ownership diversity, both in terms of the race/ethnicity and gender of owners, as well as the number of independent local owners, will lead to more diverse programming, more choices for listeners, and more owners who are responsive to their local communities and serve the public interest.
Full report from Center for American Progress

Basically, what the report proposes is that the government enforce "diversity", as though they didn't interfere enough in radio broadcasting. When will some of these people figure out (never) that you can't legislate away your problems?

You know how to get more liberals/progressives/whatever on the radio?

Find people with TALENT.

Air America's lineup consists of talk hosts who drone about the injustices of the Republican government and how everything would work out if more people would just vote Democrat. And that is all. That's all they talk about. They all sound like each other. They all have the same guests. And a lot of them weren't in radio at all until Air America was formed, and they aren't very good at it.

I enjoy listening to conservative talk radio far more than I do its liberal counterpart. These hosts express views I disagree with by presenting a wide variety of subjects, taking calls with opposing views in addition to concurring ones, and exposing their own idiocy in ways that are vastly amusing.

What's the fun in listening to someone who agrees with you all the time?

Not that conservative listeners don't behave the same way, of course. The Portland, Oregon-based Lars Larson show features a local windbag who expounds upon the reprehensible actions of the city and state governments as well as national issues. It's so funny to hear people call up and say "Right on, Lars!" They sound similar to Rush Limbaugh's "dittoheads". I know a guy who loves that show. I asked him why, and he said, "Because it keeps me up on what the government is doing to me." All I have to say is, if you need constant updates about how you're being screwed, whatever they're doing to you isn't affecting your life enough for you to notice it yourself, so why make yourself upset?

Because you like listening to people who agree with you all the time.

Michael Savage, on the other hand, hates Bush and liberals, and he's completely batshit. He sings songs. He stops and tells you what he made for dinner. Then he talks about people he saw the other day who "looked like illegal immigrants", exposing his racism and ignorance. Finally, he delivers an intelligent rant, and then spoils it all by saying something completely stupid at the end. THe content is constantly changing.

He's FUN.

Diversity.

Know your enemy! Spy on the opposing camp! Open your mind, for gods' sake! Be stimulated! Get off your goddamned cell phone, on which you're talking to people who also agree with you, and listen to both liberals and conservatives. Sample the zeitgeist of the whole country. Become truly informed.


And let me digress upon the term "progressive". Liberals are now "progressives", suggesting, I suppose, that conservatives are "regressive" or "static" or something.

When someone says they're a "progressive", it puts me in mind of a story that writer Neil Gaiman tells:

And he said, "What do you do?" I said, "I write comics." See, it was just like I’d said, "Oh, I am a part-time murderer" or some profession you don’t want to get involved with. [...] "What kind of comics do you write then?" "Well I write Sandman. I just did something called Signal to Noise…" "Hang on, hang on. Are you Neil Gaiman?" And I said yes. He said, "My dear fellow, you don’t write comics. You write graphic novels!" And I felt like a hooker who’s just been told she was the lady of the evening.
In other words: you're not fooling anyone, you know.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Gun control taken to its logical and just conclusion



Have to give the kid props for making the best of it.

Tiny
plastic army men attempt to shoot up school, are apprehended and disarmed


On Thursday, before the ceremony, one boy was told he couldn't participate unless he agreed to clip off the tips of the plastic guns carried by the minuscule GIs on his cap. Ten others complied with the order before the event.

I trust I don't have to tell you how ridiculous this is. Besides, as one person on FARK pointed out, sawed-off shotguns work just fine.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

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Friday, June 15, 2007

How about mauve?

Both parties plan green conventions

The interest in greening political conventions, from buying confetti made from recycled paper to purchasing carbon offsets to reduce the impact of greenhouse gas emissions, shows the increasing relevance to both parties of appealing to voters mindful of global warming.

Oh, give me a BREAK. If you want to reduce hot air emissions, cancel the goddamned conventions altogether.

(Yes, I know, that joke is trite. C'est la mort.)

Stick with the red, white and blue, guys.

Purchase carbon offsets? Bwahahaha! The emissions are happening NOW. Offsets take years to have any impact.

The point here, always assuming global warming is indeed what is happening, is:

IT'S TOO LATE!

It's too late to stop global warming!

The effects of pollution have escalated past the point of no return. The polar caps are breaking up, people! It's over! What is this we've-got-five-years crap? Five years is NOTHING in the context of the life of the earth. The earth takes millions of years just to reach over and scratch its ass. It's about to. And the dead skin that flakes off will be YOU.

I suppose we might be able to maintain a holding pattern, if everyone cooperates really hard for the rest of eternity, which everyone won't.

Any of you who let this pathetic pandering to the politically correct affect your choice of candidates deserve exactly what you get.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

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Way to non-sequitur

Senate Leaders Agree to Revive Immigration Bill

(Note: Anyone who doesn't feel like registering at NY Times Online to view this link can go to bugmenot.com and get a login and password. Tell your friends about this fine service to humanity.)

Comments by Republican senators on Thursday suggested that they were feeling the heat from conservative critics of the bill, who object to provisions offering legal status. The Republican whip, Trent Lott of Mississippi, who supports the bill, said: “Talk radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.”

No, Senator, you have to deal with that problem. For the most part, your colleagues get on just fine with the yap gang.

Just sayin'.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

DIANAPALOOZA!

Seriously, why don't the boys make it a summer world tour?

In the meantime, the media have begun its sister tour, Candle in the Press.

The tour lineup begins with Matt Lauer. Prince William and Prince Harry have granted NBC a television interview, in which Harry skates perilously close to acknowledging the Diana conspiracies:


'I don't know for...for me personally whatever happened that night. Whatever happened in that tunnel. You know no one will ever know,' Harry said in the NBC interview, extracts of which were reported by Britain's Press Association Tuesday.

Aren't the royals supposed to be sticking to the party line, acceptance of the Operation Paget Report?

Ah, well...Prince Henry Charles Albert David Swastika-on-my-party-shirt Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Windsor has never been famous for his decorum.

Ad trailers for the Candle in the Press tour have already included People Magazine's May 24th story on the princes, followed by the article (with Diana's pic on the cover) in the June issue of Good Housekeeping. Then there was the flap with the video of the tunnel crash, which the BBC won. And the band plays on.

Why am I giving the tours blog space? I guess because the Diana saga deserves some coverage here, as it sparked Clyde's first foray into fringe reporting. So stay tuned. It's going to be a long summer.

Ground Zero articles of interest:



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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Cat scratch fever, dunh dunh, dunnnh...

The Drudge Report is, plainly and simply, the Internet's panic button.

I found this story there today. It links, as a great many of Drudge's headlines do, to his pillow buddy Breit Bart's site.

US scientists discover new, potentially deadly bacteria

It's related to trench fever and cat scratch disease. THe article stresses that it is especially dangerous to people with weak or suppressed immune systems. Like there's something that isn't.

I highly suspect that mutations of bacteria are found quite often. This is a case of one woman who fell ill to such a new bacteria after visiting Peru. She LIVED, for gods' sake. She's FINE. Her traveling companion didn't even get sick.

And then Drudge posts this story at the same time, with this headline, which is NOT the headline of the actual story:

Cats Invading Shelters 'Due to Global Warming'...

And since I read the other story before I saw this headline, the first picture that came to my mind was a stadium full of hurricane victims screaming in terror as cats poured through the doors with death-encrusted claws.

It only lasted for a moment before my higher brain moved it to the silly bin. But look at the trigger words. "Global warming". "Invading". "Shelters". EVERYBODY PANIC!

The story is actually talking about animal shelters being overrun because, it seems, warmer temperatures make cats hornier and they're breeding more kittens.

Oh, the horror.

The article's headline is "Adoption Group: Cat Invasion Due to Global Warming"; it includes the word "adoption", a happier meme that brings to mind actors and pop stars invading traveling to foreign countries to bring back adorable brown children. And the picture -- aww, baby kittycats!

Warm fluffiness, however, is not Drudge's métier.

The headlines, the screen crawls, the news-at-eleven blurbs plant these triggers in our minds and repeat them again and again, and we make connections. It only takes a split second for a meme to stamp your mind, and even if your first impression is disproven or discarded, that stamp remains there to be reinforced over and over.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

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Monday, June 4, 2007

He asked for it, we got it...allegedly

The chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party, Dennis Milligan, thinks we could use a few more terrorist attacks.

“At the end of the day, I believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001], and the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country.”

Because another terrorist attack on his watch would inspire my confidence, wouldn't it yours?

Summary article

The entire Arkansas Democrat-Gazette interview

The most interesting part is that he did not say the naysayers "would" come around. He said they "will" come around.

A slip of the tongue? Probably not; he is new to his post and TheyTM haven't had time to let him in on the Grand Plan -- the latest installment of which, by the way, may be the "alleged" plot to blow up JFK Airport.

The press is being careful to use the word "alleged". Why? Since when has the press, in this post-2001 world, been so careful about trial-by-media? It's not just in the articles; it's in nearly every headline about the JFK plot. Enough so that it's drawn my attention more than the plot itself has.

And now this Milligan says "will come around" instead of "would come around".

I don't know why the two things are resonating in my mind. Any ideas? I mean, other than the plot's having been under investigation for almost a year and a half before the FBI pounced just in time for the first few presidential candidate debates?

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Saturday, June 2, 2007

Convenient Shocking terrorist plot foiled

There's not much I can say about this one that isn't being said all over the place right now. But as a blogger, especially a new one, I have to at least toss it up here.

4 charged with terror plot at JFK airport

I'll just encapsulate: Bush's approval ratings low, distraction needed, plot supposedly 16 months under investigation finally acted upon. There ya go.

On the other hand...

...there are some points to be made about all the things happening right now, wham wham wham, school shooting, deadly germs, terrorist attack.

In fact, I could write all day.

While you wait on the edge of your seat for me to do so, read the article below.

Ground Zero articles of interest:

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Friday, June 1, 2007

not again, not AGAIN...

Yesterday Americans were being warned not to go to Iran, which ought to be a no-brainer, but to each his own.

Today Bush is demanding Iran release American detainees.

Don't go to Iran....because we're going to invade on behalf of four detainees?

Of course not,, says Condi. Why, the very idea!

But the meme has been invoked.

Does "detainees" equal "hostages"? Will Bush use the magic word? Or will he leave it up to us to make the connection through inference?

If we do redefine "detainees" in this way, someone's got some 'splainin' to do about our own "detainees"...right? Like this:

"That's not the kind of detainee I'm talking about!"

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